Thinking on the Past Week

We haven't submitted my Green Card application yet, because there are a few things that take some extra time. But it's almost there! I think I've been a bit overwhelmed with the process. Eug and I are going through it together, but it's also something you kindof have to deal with alone. It's a very big deal for me, because I never wanted to have residency any place other than South Africa. We're really grateful to have a lot of people praying for us. It's a very concrete test of faith for me. I've been having to think about the basics and trust in God's goodness, absolute power and His personal and current concern for changing our lives and characters, because I cannot reach further than my own limitations without a foundation of faith. Sorry for the cliches, I guess I'm just discovering their truth. I am slowly realizing that complaining is mainly a problem if it erodes faith and makes me forget your purpose and perspective. If it does that, that's serious because it strains my relationship with God, my willingness to take things a step at a time, and my ability to trust God to hear me. Anyway, if you are struggling with this too, send me an e-mail so I can pray for you and we can encourage eachother.

I'm working through with my Wits thesis, a little bit at a time. I'm trying something new, to practice writing: doing an epilogue to try to capture the experience and limitations of my research.

Teachers in Durban expect a high standard, but were aware of the worst. I think this is a situation that is unique to South Africa, because apartheid made teachers aware of what was out there (as good a school education as one can get anywhere) yet largely made that kind of education unattainable. Now teachers have those high expectations in mind-- perhaps they went to those excellent schools. I interviewed teachers at the schools with the lowest fees, and often, the fewest resources. The teachers were also highly aware of the poverty that surrounded many of their learners. What is problematic is that in school teachers are prepared for schools with resources, not necessarily "trained for the worst".

I think if I were faced with a situation that was far more gruelling and far more difficult than I expected, I would feel really discouraged and just try to get through the day. If it was something I was expecting and used to, maybe it would be easier to think long term, and think about a "better way". Not that there is any "easy" in having a class with 70 learners. There's no utopia, but I think we can do better, even in tapping the resources in our country to better serve the needs of the majority of schools. There is a need for basic resources and more teachers, who are better paid. There is also a need for male teachers.